Hidey-ho, neighbor. It’s 6:12 of a Sunday morning. I may even go to church today. Doubt it, though.
Nobody’s talking to me, if we’re not counting my parents. Yesterday my mother called me on my new phone, which is apparently some kind of “smart phone.” If you ask me, it’s dumber than a doormat. I said “I hate this phone.” My mom responded, “Temper, you hate everything.”* I welled up immediately, in the middle of a shop, but answered her questions anyway. It seems that the super-helpful Fred Meyer girl hadn’t reviewed my receipt and had all my lost seeds waiting for me (if you will recall, I bought them and then left the bag in the store). My mother, bitchy as she is, was willing to ask me what I had bought. She bridled at paying the $2+ (p.s. of my money) for the sweetpeas and nasturtiums. I explained that in my town these very common little tasty climbers are sometimes hard to find and paying for the gas to get them would be significantly more. She relented. I got my 43 or so packets of seeds, including beets, kale, spinach mustard, zuchinni (what am I stupid?), tomatoes, bush beans, snap peas, green onions, basil, etc. I will have a small onion field (I didn’t forget the bag with the 100 onion starts, the 18 new lilies, and the 10 strawberry starts–yes, I have strawberries already but not these kind–Quinault). I think, to be honest, I am going to plant the onions in the never-never land between my front garden and the lilac at the far corner of my house. This area is hard to plant because it’s full of bulbs that I didn’t plant, so I worry. I won’t worry over the onions. Can anyone tell me if they smell onion-y in the ground? That would be awesome. I’m also going to plant horseradish and garlic there. This year I am giving up the battle with the neighbors and I am planting my front easement (belongs to the city, but must be “maintained” by me) with lavender and heather. I’m packing it. The bees will love it, the smell will be outrageous, and the hicklebillies will–presumably–be able to recognize it as a garden and won’t step all over it or consider the fruit up for grabs.
I’ve been home a few days. My floors did not get refinished this last week as hoped. Well, cos I wasn’t ready. Pete will mosey on over on Monday morning and I will be spit-shined and all a’glisten for him. I’m raring to go. However.
I have gotten myself all in a tear over a few other projects. One, I’m planning to build three 12 x 8 feet raised beds for my back lot. I’m still trying to find someone to sell me a load of top soil but the ijits over here haven’t worked that up yet. So, I’ll probably buy some planting soil, throw in some of my superfine and ever-expanding (the wind, you see) topsoil, my compost and a few bags of steer manure. Most of the seeds will be started in my mini-greenhouses (Oh one year I will get me a full grown one!) My friend David (BKBoy who happens to sort of know everything from probiotic supplements to where to buy half a side of grass-fed beef) hipped me to a couple of squares, one being Apartment Therapy (I just bouight their book) and another this super-hip wall shelving which was cliffed from the Ace Hotel in NYC. This is it.
Oh hells yeah! Here are the two slight problems. I am one inch short of 8’8″ of wall space (easily remedied) and I’ve been dealing with ‘tards. “You want to do what?” You know that’s going to be pretty spendy.” “Uh, it says the materials should cost around $200. I’ve priced IKEA shelving. I’m comfortable with my credit rating. I don’t think it should concern you.” Next!
So I got the bits ordered to be cut and promised to return the next day. Ta-da! Only they forgot the fitting (flanges, tees and elbows). They gathered them up in various finishes — doesn’t matter cos I’ve got the Rustoleum black spray paint.
These are the fittings.
They didn’t have the pine planks at the hardware store. I went to the new “lumberyard” and they didn’t have them either. So, I got a wild hair and drove to town to buy them at Lowes. At Lowes, luckily, they had two apricot trees. I have no apricots. They have been very hard to find. Now I have two. On is a Goldcot and the other is a Wenatchee Moorpark. One thing you might not know about my state is we have lots of things named after Indians, like towns, and such. Maybe all American states have that, but it seems to confuse people nonetheless. I mean Wenatchee in this instance. We also have the famous sweet Walla Walla onion, not to be confused by the prison.
So, at the store, they told me they couldn’t cut my planks because the saw was broken! At a hardware store! So they made it easy on me. I bought a 12 inch compound miter saw which I wanted anyway to cut my baseboards. It can also cut the planks and the boards I’m planning to use for my raised beds. I have to admit I have often admired the old man’s chop saw. This is pretty much like that plus I got a table. Also, I needed a belt sander for sanding the corners of my floors. My contractor’s sander is falling apart. I bought Skil products which are not DeWalts but are still good. I may or may not have have an orgasm in the car. I also bought myself some other junk, including a new Purdy 2 1/2″ paintbrush and some aubergine paint which is actually called “crushed velvet” but don’t let that fool you.
I have to mix two different kinds of walnut stain to get the right color for the pine planks.
One thing I may have forgotten to mention is how much I hate my neighbors. Now that I have a car I both hate them more and get an absurd amount of pleasure about having a better car than they do, even if it’s a 2001. I loved putting my AAA Plus sticker in the back window. Until the old man recovers enough to remember where he lost the keys to my garage (he kind of had some sort of heart attack to mask the error of his ways), I have to keep my car out front. I asked my contractor to pick up for me a light which is motion detection operated (those of you who actually spoke to me during my unfortunate incarceration with my parents will know that they had a prowler and my dad visited Harbor Freight). I should have installed it but it has three different colored wires and I’ve seen enough bomb squad films to be alarmed. This is its box which is really cool in that it is is massively old-fashioned!
Because I have spent tons of dosh this month, I assuaged my consumer’s guilt by stealing four products. The cheapeast things I bought, by the way (don’t tell anyone but I bought a new bamboo bowl, a pitchfork, and a new rake too!). Unfortunately, the items were “Seeds of Change” and were all organic so I should feel guiltier than guilty!
I don’t really care that much as they are over-packaged and probably aren’t even organic!
Isn’t my new annoying light cool? I hope a bunch of skunks like walking around on my street sayiing “check this weird chick’s light out!” after smoking a bunch of, yeah, skunkweed. That will be cool. You see? I never sleep and my neighbors purportedly have a new baby although Damien has only been seen once and that was heavily blanketed! My new neigbhor’s hair has been dyed bright blonde and looks horrible in case anyone was wondering.
Finally, while I was cleaning, I put some stuff in my window out of the way. This meant that Boy Cat had to walk all over the place and try to lay down on shit. This is him trying to look innocent, which I KNOW will not fool any of you guys.
I will say one thing about Nirvana. I have a very hard time listening to MTV Unplugged and not feeling both something close to a religious experience and a tremendous sadness. Both are probably very similar anyway.
P.S. Oatmeal for breakfast — steel cut. Yum. Organics raisins even yummier. The odd pairing of a flash drive full of music and a hen-covered quilt will be winging their way to that special wonderful place in the mid-west come Monday. Thanks, kitten. I kind of love you.
